watched transformers revenge of the fallen last friday. such a looong movie for something that could be shown in less time. the fight scenes took most of the time. if not for the high quality CG effects, i wouldn't like it that much. and megan fox could use some acting lessons, really. all she did was pout her lips and say a few lines. anyway.. aside from that nothing much happened this weekend, except i had fever and mom freaking out that i may have swine flu. took me to the doctor and doctor said just to observe my condition over the weekend. oh yeah, and michael jackson died. i did like some of his songs.. beat it, you are not alone, ben, heal the world, black or white, they don't care about us, will you be there. i just really don't get it why he wanted his skin color changed. he would have looked better anyway if he hadn't done anything to his face.

mama, as we would call our grandma, celebrated her 81st birthday last june 18, which we actually celebrated today. it was a year overdue but she was sick in the hospital last year so they decided to cancel it. mama was a strict lola and i used to hate her. when we lived with them back in the 90's, she would always scold and spank me for something wrong that i did (which was very often). i was scared of her. she had this tough and matriarchal aura in her that everyone respects her so much. she was like the queen of our family and her word shouldn't be bent or else. now that she's old, barely able to walk, with brittle bones and wrinkled skin, everyone still treats her the same way, with utmost respect and reverence every time she was in a gathering. everyone looks up to her as the one who held the family, the strict disciplinarian, the woman who always shared her wisdom with her children, nephews,  nieces, grandsons and granddaughters, and friends. and now that she's 81, her birthday celebration today with all the relatives and friends who came was a proof that she wasn't forgotten, that all the things she's done was not put to waste.

as we were on our way home, my greatest fear suddenly surfaced. my fear of growing old always haunts me. i just dont want to grow old alone. i'm scared. if i have no family, if i have no friends, what would become of me when i'm 81? would i even reach 81? who would even care? :( i've been alone most of the time in my life for the past years, and i'm hoping it wouldn't be the case forever.

it was monday. i woke up late and was rushing to get to the office. i was groggy and sleepy i probably didn't notice my phone slipped of my pocket while i was in the shuttle. it was not until noon that i realized my phone was missing. i thought i left it at home, so i called the labandera and asked her to look for it, but she couldn't find it. darn it, i lost my phone. i tried calling it but the idiot who got it probably removed the sim card and threw it away. fortunately, i work at a telecom company and tracing the bastard was easy. i finally got the number of the sim he replaced it with so i called it right away. the bitch told me he would be willing to return my phone but he's in bicol. oh fuck him, i traced him and the system cannot be wrong that he is in metro manila. liar! i told him i could trace him wherever he may be and that he could keep on replacing the sim card and i could still trace him. after saying that, he immediately hung up and a few more rings later, and he turns the phone off. bitch bitch bitch. i hate that bastard whoever he is. i hope he gets bad karma 10x. he could keep the fucking phone, i just want my sim card and memory card back. sheesh.

went out last night with cj, redg, jian, rye, and marlon, and redg's two other friends. we watched terminator, had drinks and danced at bed bar, and coffee at SBC valero. a DQ blizzard, mango margarita, and raspberry mocha kiss later, i finally got home. it was fun definitely, but i fear we're becoming more and more predictable every time. i just wish we could do something new.

and just last night, i got this weird feeling.. i just felt so alone even if i'm with the company of friends.. oh god no, this is NOT becoming an emo post. haha. i don't know, i just wish i knew how not to feel that way, but i do feel alienated sometimes. no, it's not them... and we've done things together, had fun together, share everything, but hmm.. i don't even know how to put it to words.

and maybe people shouldn't put labels on relationships, coz then it tends to limit the mind on how we should act, or what we should say when we're around them.

so could it be that we lack drama? is everything just too perfect that it's getting boring everytime? so weird... and what's weirder? i'm beginning to sound like carrie bradshaw.

last friday, everyone at the office seems to be talking about the suspected A(H1N1) case of one employee. they even let us fill up a business continuity matrix form in case the company needed to do a shutdown if the employee is confirmed to be carrying the virus. weee that would be fun i thought. two weeks work from home? yes, finally the silver lining from this flu crisis. hahaha. but of course, as with any office rumor, turns out that the news was exaggerated and probably fabricated. according to the management, this employee wasn't feeling any symptoms (yet) but voluntarily submitted herself to check up after picking up relatives from chicago. and one of the relatives showed symptoms, though not confirmed yet. so, no shutdown any time soon i guess. and yes it would be scary if the virus was lurking around in the elevators, bathrooms, and everywhere around the building.

it was also raining hard that friday, so i decided to go home late thinking traffic and the rain would have subsided by then. but i was wrong, as the line at the ayala center terminal was sooo long. i decided to stroll around glorietta first to kill time and probably watch a movie by myself. but then, shella, an officemate who lives near our village, called me up and asked if i was in line at the terminal. i told her my planned movie watching, but then she said we could just hangout until around 12 midnight. luckily, she saw two of her friends at timezone who were on their way for some videoke-ing. we joined and sang, and had fun until it was around 12:30 am. when we got to the terminal, there was one van left, no lines, no rain, and no traffic. got home around 1am.

love this song in acoustic... :)

Love the acoustic version. :)

not much happened this very boring weekend. i'm so craving for mcdo caramel sundae with oreo bits right now. yumyum. last weekend was another beachy weekend in bataan. it was my brother's birthday and we spent it at this resort somewhere in bataan. the place was nice, with lots of japanese foreigners. beach wasn't as white as others i've been to but any beach is good for me. it was super sunny last week and i didn't swim much since i got so tanned from all the trips i had already i don't wanna burn some more. and now it's raining raining raining. i don't like the rain but as long as it's not hindering any of my plans, then rain all you want. and i still can't believe almost half of the year is over.

oh and i love no doubt's new single, stand and deliver! i wish i could watch them live..

the first half of the year would soon be over! ;-o where did all the time go? birthday would be in less than two months time from now, still deciding whether to throw one big party or just low key. since i'm turning 25 next year (2010), maybe a low key dinner or something for my closest friends would be nice and a big party next year! anyway, i have been away from society pretty much lately. too busy with many things. going back to the gym next week... it's been one month since i didn't pay the gym a visit and i so wanna get back soon. contrary to most people, i feel i'm getting thinner when i stopped going to the gym. and coron in august.. i can't wait!! ;-o

sigh. so i finally asked my mom a big favor.. well, really not that big but i consider it big since i don't usually ask favors from my parents. i just think they MAY use it against me in the future. well, not that i'm thinking bad of them, but it's more of the guilt that i might feel if they, in turn, ask a favor from me someday, and i'm against it, but i have to do it or else i would feel guilty forever. but then i realized, isn't it enough that i finished college instead of taking drugs? that i wasn't a wild child begging for attention? that i did all they wanted me to and never once swayed their rules.. (well maybe once, ok twice... no thrice.. whatever)..point is, i never did anything displeasing to them to the point of disowning. so is that enough? =(